Grumpy Conservative Dad vs Liberal Teenage Daughter

An unproduced web-cartoon

THEME SONG: 
"Grumpy Conservative Dad
Liberal Teenage Daughter
Why can't they get along?
Arguments are made-to-order

The Personal is Political

Especially when you're a

Grumpy Conservative Dad

And Liberal Teenage Daughter

ANNOUNCER: 

Featuring Alcoholic Mom! 

(TIPSY MOM appears in a mortis.)
 

ANNOUNCER: 

Tonight's episode... Dinner Debate

(GRUMPY DAD sits down at the kitchen table.  He is joined by ALCOHOLIC MOM and TEENAGE DAUGHTER.) 

GRUMPY DAD: 

Boy, after a long day of mid-level managing, I sure am hungry. 

TEENAGE DAUGHTER: 

You have no idea what hunger is. There's people in Third World Countries who work all day with nothing to eat but bugs and care-packages from Angelina Jolie. 

(MOM nervously gulps a martini.)

MOM: 

Ohhh can't we just enjoy this meatloaf? 

GRUMPY DAD:

Listen, your grandfather came to this country an' worked 80 hours a week, but you didn't hear him whine about it, like some kinda homo. 

TEENAGE DAUGHTER:

Oh, real nice Dad.  I'll have you know my friend Barbara has a cousin who just so happens to be bicurious.  

MOM: 

The tater-tots are yummy.  Have some. 

MOM offers up a bowl of tater-tots. 

TEENAGE DAUGHTER: 

I will never share tater-tots with such a closed-minded pig.  

GRUMPY DAD: 

Well, you could stand to lose a few pounds anyway. 

TEENAGE DAUGHTER:

Mom, are you gonna let him oppress me like that? 

(MOM struggles to stand-up, she slumps back in her seat.)

MOM: (tipsy) 

I think I'm gonna go to sleep now. (beat)  Why don't you two just do it and get it over with. 

(MOM passes out.) 

Single-shot of shocked Daughter

Single shot of shocked Dad. 

Two-shot of both of them simultaneously projectile vomiting.



THEME SONG: 

Grumpy Conservative Dad

And Liberal Teenage Daughter!



ANNOUNCER: On the next Grumpy Conservative Dad and Liberal Teenage Daughter...

DAD is holding a phone, DAUGHTER looks on. 



GRUMPY DAD: 

Hey, this is America.  Why should I have to press one for English? 

TEENAGE DAUGHTER: 

You make me ashamed to be upper-middle-class.



THE END.