Ten Jokes

I met a man whose claim to fame is that he can eat 28 hots dogs in 6 minutes.  

I said "Hey man, what do you think of all those starving kids in China?"

He said, "I can eat four of 'em in ten minutes."

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Why did the banana wear earrings? 

Because she wanted to look beautiful. 

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My life is like an open book.  And that book is the novelization of TRON. 

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I think I'm getting fat.  Given the choice between jeans or sweat pants, I eat both. 

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What's got 2 thumbs and likes blowjobs?

The Fonz

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Knock Knock

Who's there?

John Denver

John Denver.  But he's been dead for six years.

BRAINS!!!

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As I stepped out of the shit-stained, piss smelling bathroom of the Greyhound bus, I saw 3 words written on the wall: 

Joe Loves Laurie

I don't know who this Laurie is, but she must be very special

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Mom said the rats are just as scared of you as you are of them.

So I guess the rats are scared I'm going to chew off their scrotums while they sleep.

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I believe the Olympics coverage places too much emphasis on American success stories, and not enough emphasis on monkeys riding dogs to funny music. 

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I don't need drugs and alcohol to have a good time.  Just the drugs.